Updated: Aug 4, 2020
God's favor can be heavy sometimes.
Our world is skewed in it's beliefs, ways, ideas. It is twisted and made secular character traits and values the norm. Living as a christian girl in today's society isn't easy.
“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
my favorite Bible verse of all time. :)
God never told us it would be easy, but it will be worth it.
Do you ever get tired of being different, being unique, feeling like you don't really belong to a certain group?
Well, news flash...we weren't called to blend in with the world and the people of it, but we were called to stand out.
That comes with discomfort, it comes with confusion and hurt and being at a loss for understanding sometimes.
My whole life I wondered why I didn't belong to a certain friend group, I was the floater that belonged to every friend group, but at the same time didn't really belong any one place at all.
MAYA ANGELOU: You only are free when you realize you belong no place — you belong every place — no place at all. The price is high. The reward is great…
Maya Angelou is one of many individuals I look up to - Her words and legacy she has left behind is inspiring.
High school was extremely hard for me at times. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time during high school, I make the most of every situation I am in and I never let circumstances or experiences define me. I always cared about doing well, I maintained a 3.9 grade point average, I was a member of the National Honor Society, Student council and took AP classes and college courses, I was the Principal's assistant. Athletically, I was one of our school's best athletes. I played varsity basketball, volleyball and track beginning my freshman year. I treated everyone the way I would want to be treated, kindly, with respect and without judgement. I always did things with a good heart and good intentions and I could never fully understand why some people were just not nice, why some people would make up blatantly false rumors, why people would act on jealousy and hearsay. I always wanted the best for everyone, because at the end of the day everyone has their own set of unique talents and abilities and everyone has a purpose in life to do something greater than themselves, to be set apart and to succeed in their own way. I connected more with the teachers than the students sometimes, but even some teacher's didn't want to see me succeed.
Why...why am I trying so hard to do everything right, to make everyone feel included and cared for and I keep getting beaten down, and talked about, and I don't have any true friends. These were the questions I dealt with daily, the things I didn't understand.
John 15:19 If you were of the world, the world would love its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, because of this the world hates you.
One teacher in particular had skewed our voting during homecoming court so I wouldn't become homecoming queen. But all of these things are so frivolous when it comes to what we are living for and what really matters. But as a high school student it would upset me sometimes because I just wanted people to treat me how I treated them, I wanted friends, I didn't want to sit around a table and gossip, I wanted to talk about ideas and activities not people. It led me into a spiral of always caring what people thought and made me feel like I needed to be perfect at all times, because the second I do one thing wrong, even though it could be the smallest thing, it would be put on blast 100 times worse than if someone else did something wrong. People cared so much about my life, what I did, what I do, what I wear, who I talk to and it felt like the pressure of the world on me. I didn't know what I did to have a target on my back at all times, but I do realize that God has called me for a purpose in life and when you follow his incredible path and the blessings He bestows on your life come to fruition people think it's unfair, or because of your looks or because you're just lucky, but I know I work so hard for things I have achieved and I pray harder, and I have been given God's blessings on my life. His light shines from my heart and it's too bright for some people to appreciate.
BILL MOYERS: Do you belong anywhere? MAYA ANGELOU: I haven’t yet. BILL MOYERS: Do you belong to anyone? MAYA ANGELOU: More and more… I belong to myself. I’m very proud of that. I am very concerned about how I look at Maya. I like Maya very much.
I grew a lot from 14 to 23 and I can see so much clearer what God was preparing me for. I didn't see it then, but He chose me to stand out from the rest. He has a calling and favor on my life. I prayed for understanding for a long time, and there are definitely things that still happen today, things I am still going through that don't always make sense, but He has a funny sense of humor and when you ask big He gives big.
After winning Miss Wisconsin USA, my first appearance was back at my old high school, *(same teacher still working there) and I realized this was much better than the title of homecoming queen. I get to actually make an impact on these young kids, to be a voice and share my story for them as I was the guest speaker during the National Honor Society Induction Ceremony.
Never let any setback in life, stop you from persevering toward greatness.
What are you talking yourself out of right now that God is trying to bring you into?
We can't forfeit your future for fear of what people may think about you, you can't forfeit your future for fear of failure.
So what's the purpose?
To live a life so other's can see God's love through our actions. To love each other as ourselves. To give more than we take. To listen to other's, but not change our character and values to match what this world wants or views as right. Understanding that nothing worth having in life comes easy, but it is all worth it. Even though we may not belong anywhere, we belong everywhere and most importantly we belong to God.
Your Girl Next Door and So Much More,