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In The Seat of Judgement

Updated: Nov 23, 2020

It only takes 7 seconds to make a first impression or judge another. We are all guilty of it. However, proceed with caution. Some things are not as they appear.

Pretty, popular, skinny, fat, athlete, band geek. Pick your poison, we are all one of these. But what we are not is a stereotype associated with these words. Just because I am fit does not mean I have an unhealthy relationship with food or exercise. Just because I was a three sport varsity athlete in high school and continued into college does not mean I was a meat head or better than the person who wasn't involved in sports. Just because I received good grades and got along with my teachers does not make me a teachers pet. And just because I was pretty does not make me mean or conceited. These are among some of the most hurtful comments and judgement I have personally received. One thing that irks me the most is when people judge others appearances, because after all God made us all uniquely and we ultimately cannot help the way we look.

I often get the 'you're too pretty to be nice,' or 'I hate that you're nice and pretty.' Or 'I wanted to hate you but you're actually a pretty cool person.' First of all, can you even believe people say these things out loud? ME EITHER. But this is no joke. In a world that is so fixated on outward appearance and status, it makes it that much more important to be a better person by actions and the way we make people feel. Ultimately, that is what matters when looks and physical shape change, we will always have our personality, charisma, character and memories.

Don't ever beat yourself up over someone else's opinion of you. If the people who don't even know you speak negatively of you, they will most likely never be fortunate enough to get to know the real and absolutely incredible YOU.

"Never waste your time trying to explain who you are to people who are committed to misunderstanding you." - Dream Hampton

One thing I have never understood in life is why people are so interested in others misfortune or mistakes. Mostly, what is the obsession with other people's lives if we are not a part of them. Why judge when we haven't walked in his or her shoes, if we don't know them and we don't know their story. And Lord knows there are always two sides to every story. Why be the judge when we all do, say, or make mistakes on a daily basis. We are all just learning as we go, what is the point of making someone's journey more difficult than it has to be by negativity and false judgments.

Don't judge a book by it's cover.

I will be the first to admit I never loved high school. Yes I thrived in things I was involved with because God gave me those natural abilities. However, socially I did not appreciate the jealousy and gossip of small minded individuals. Girls can be mean basically, especially high school ones. I was so ecstatic to get to college for a change of pace, yet college didn't change the way people act either. Then I graduated and thought well at least I will be around adults in the working world and things like judgement and jealousy mustn't exist with adults. I hate to be the negative Nelly here, but age doesn't necessarily change that either. Some people will always be more worried about the Jones's next door than his or her own life. That doesn't mean we can't change. By changing our perspective and attitude maybe we can slowly change the way we all think.

“To whom much is given, much will be required”

~Luke 12:48

Don't judge people you don't genuinely know. Be kind above all else. Everyone is fighting their own battles and we are all meant to be here to support and lift one another up not tear each other down. And if we take the time to get to know someone we initially thought we wouldn't be friends with due to prejudgments (which are not always correct, remember) , we could all be in for a sweet surprise and ultimately happier lives. It feels good to pay someone a compliment or greet with a smile; always believe and see the best in others...even though our world challenges that belief.

Your Girl Next Door and So Much More,

Danika Tramburg

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