A late night facetime call from one of my best friends prompted this idea in my head; why do we worry so much about not making the right choice? What is wrong with our current generation...which I am included in by the way. Commitment is frightening and having to make the right decision is even more scary. The fear of missing out resonates within us and thinking we may miss out on something creates a sense of fear. But will we ever really know if we are making the right choice if we don't go for it?
My mom never fails to let me know..."Danika, the good ones will be gone, if you don't find one now." But my constant response is, if I am not ready and not 100% certain it's the right one, what is the purpose....how will I make the right choice for the rest of my life? In love, in work, and everything else that follows.
I always told my sister I wanted to be the cute, fun, single, rich aunt that shows up in her G-Wagon filled with presents for the boys (my nephews). In all honesty, when I think really deep down I don't actually want that. Unless my husband is driving in the front seat with me. A beautiful long lasting marriage with twin tots is my ideal dream. Many of us come up with coping mechanisms for our uncertainties to keep from getting down. Having a fun idea of our futures give the sense of having some attainable plan without really having to commit to a plan.
Along the same lines job searching was frightening because with that comes thoughts of what if there is something else better around the corner, did I make the right decision, do I even know what I want to do for the rest of my life, will I mesh with my coworkers? That's when we need to let go of our fears and worries and embrace the uncertainty that is life. We never know unless we try and we never learn if we don't fail.
With a world saturated with dating platforms and social channels, information is at our fingertips whenever and wherever. It is so easy to get caught up in thinking someone else has the ideal life, job or relationship when we only see the good stuff posted online.
The key is to remember the grass isn't always greener on the other side and just because some people may appear to have it all together doesn't mean they are any more certain, less worried or scared of missing out than we are.
I struggle with the thought of failure and I always want to make the right decision. But what is a right decision, when we can't even make a decision at all.
Instead of focusing on the wrong one, the wrong decision, the wrong change maybe we should start focusing on ourselves and what we can do to be the right one, make a decision and choose to deal with the consequences, good or bad. By doing so it will eventually attract the same energy and values of what will connect us with the right one and right decisions in our journey of life.
Most of our generation struggles with commitment, and fear of missing out, but one thing that sets us apart is our acceptance, inclusions and openness to others ideals and beliefs. Despite the negative stereotypes that come along with the technological side of our generation, we are actually great communicators. It is said that millennials are more inclined to share their feelings than older generations due to the way we were raised. Now it's just time to chip away the walls of uncertainty, fear and worry and open up to what life is all about, failure, experience, love, heartbreak and every other grand emotion we are all so fortunate to feel.
Your Girl Next Door and So Much More,
Danika Tramburg