So often we talk about breaking up with a boyfriend or girlfriend and the pains associated with that. No matter what side we are on in the breakup it is tough, sad, might make us feel lost, or feel as though we wasted time.
There is another type of breakup that may be worse than a romantic breakup and that is one with our closest friends. Emotions of good and bad overwhelm us. Often these friendships last longer than our other relationships and when it cuts it cuts deeper. When you put work into a friendship for so long, the last thing we expect is for the other to leave the friendship in the dust.
We share our secrets, hurts, passions, excitements and everything in between with our closest friends. We trust them to have our best interest in mind because in return we have their best interest in mind and in heart.
We may even be left wondering what went wrong in the first place. What was it that made our best friend literally disappear one day, how can you share so much with someone and him or her just leave, do they still reminisce about our fun times, do they wish we were still friends, were there harbored feelings of jealousy...all questions I have asked myself before. Because I once lost a best friend which I was completely blind sided by. She's still alive but it feels as though she's literally gone. It is almost more painful to mourn the loss of someone who is still here, yet isn't a part of our life anymore. She was family to me and always will be, just distant now.
"Sometimes we lose friends for whose loss our regret is greater than our grief, and others for whom our grief is greater than our regret." ~Francois de la Rochefoucauld
Bumps in the road are inevitable. The only way we truly can grow in relationships is by going through ups and downs, that's the beauty of getting to know so many different levels of people. It is how we choose to overcome or fix them that matter.
Most importantly what we need to realize is that people grow at different rates in life. Some people mature faster, some have great plans for their life, some don't have a plan at all and some want to pursue their own endeavors instead of asking for guidance in God's journey for their life.
Some friendships are meant to grow apart, after all everyone's endings are different. In our lives we come across numerous types of individuals, all whom have different endings to their specific journeys.
Time heels all, or so they say. Although some wounds may take longer to heal than others, there comes a point in life when we recognize why some friendships never lasted.
Friendships take work, especially the older we get - not everyone wants to put work in or give the necessary time to cultivate a friendship.
Everyone's life gets busy with careers, schooling, family, babies, etc. We consciously have to choose to make time for people we care about and want to stay connected with. Friendships rarely last when all of the giving is one sided. Equal giving is equal sacrifice.
"A friendship that can cease has never been real." ~ St. Jerome
We still may ask ourselves, what went wrong. The truth is these friends weren't meant to go with us to the next level we reach in our lives.
Maybe you had the friend that was around when it was convenient for him or her and once he or she got what was needed, it was time to go
I'm sure we can all relate to the friends who live in the past... 'Remember when...' But if we keep living in the past how will we progress to the future.
The most profound reason why some friends leave is that they are not ready to go with us in the next phase of our lives.
Although these can be some of the most heart wrenching times in our lives, remember that it is exactly that - just a period of time - not our whole life - the beauty of life is that it is made up of unexpected moments. If life were so predictable we would all be living lackluster lives.
~ Remember better things are coming.
~ God places people in our lives for a reason and sometimes when that purpose is accomplished they don't need to be there anymore.
~ People can be selfish and when things are no longer convenient for them or become something that is out of his or her comfort zone it's no longer appealing.
~ Be resilient in relationships.
~ Find peace knowing some of life's mysteries will remain mysteries
~ We may never get the apology we need, wanted or deserved...and we may never get closure or an answer to our curiosity.
Your Girl Next Door and So Much More,
Danika Tramburg